George [W] Bush was the first Cable TV President we had. And what I mean by that is that he was the first President that was only President to the people that voted for him. He did not give a fuck about the people that didn’t vote for him. And Obama is actually trying to be President to the whole country. And you know, there’s a lot of compromise to being President to the whole country….in a weird way our complaints about Obama are because we miss Bush…We miss the guy that didn’t give a fuck about these other..[unintelligible] Bush didn’t give a fuck about us, he just really really didn’t. And we kinda want our own—We want revenge we don’t want justice. That’s the problem with the democrats, we want revenge [laughs]

You’d be amazed at how many people want to work with you if you just ask, if you just make a call,” he continued. “You see a movie you like, hey, just call the guy up. Why not? I wasn’t always the call guy just ’cause I felt inferior. Paul Thomas Anderson’s not going to pick up my call. That’s what I’m thinking. Alexander Payne doesn’t want to speak to me. Noah Baumbach’s from Brooklyn, I’m from Brooklyn. Maybe there’s something there.” But picking up the phone didn’t come naturally. “It takes a minute to get over,” he said. “It’s not ego, it’s the opposite.

A lot of guys are great, but they don’t want to hit hard. To hit like Tyson up there, that shit is — I just presented some award to Oprah at the Kennedy Center. I probably did four minutes, five minutes. It’s weird — you go up there, it’s like, what’s the guy in Lord of the Rings who puts on the ring and he’s invisible? Then he lets it off and he’s sweating, like it’s so hard to be fucking invisible. It’s hard to hit homers. I try to hit homers. I’m not a singles hitter. I’m swinging like Sheffield every fucking time. As hard as I can.

I will give you an example of how race affects my life. I live in a place called Alpine, New Jersey. Live in Alpine, New Jersey, right? My house costs millions of dollars. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. In my neighborhood, there are four black people. Hundreds of houses, four black people. Who are these black people? Well, there’s me, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Eddie Murphy. Only black people in the whole neighborhood. So let’s break it down, let’s break it down: me, I’m a decent comedian. I’m a’ight. Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living? He’s a fucking dentist! He ain’t the best dentist in the world…he ain’t going to the dental Hall of Fame…He don’t get plaques for getting rid of plaque. He’s just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist. See, the black man gotta fly to get to something’ the white man can walk to.